The 2010 year

For some it’s the time for reflections

It’s that point of time to get that checklist of resolutions written a year back

Scratch off those things you’ve done and wonder at why the heck we didn’t manage to do the ones that we’ve set our mind to do

Not for me though.

I guess I’m just being stubborn and adamant that just because the year changes, doesn’t mean it has to be the point for reflection, of resolutions.

Instead of a yearly evaluation kind of person I would rather think of myself as more of a ‘evaluate when needed’ kind.

Pretty random, yes, but it works just as well if not better.

Fast response time I would say and lesser idle time.

(At least that’s what I told myself to believe =P )

So for those of you thinking of what resolutions to set for the coming year,

Good Luck! May you get all the rabbit’s foot, four leaf clover, horse shoe to equip you for year 2010

15th November 2009

Exams are over. At least for now. I did averagely well I think. But that doesn't matter anymore. Because it's over and done with. In a few hours time, I'll be heading to pick lil miss lia and we're off to Port Dickson. Going with our friends. Staying over for a night. She has work tomorrow. So I'll have to wake her up extra early and head back to KL in the wee hours. She's working now. I'll be workin soon too. Plus in December, she's starting her Masters PLUS working. I won't get to see her as much. But I'll try harder =) Booked flight tickets to Kota Kinabalu in May. May 11th-16th 2010. RM254 for 3 flight tickets to and fro. Damn that's cheap. But then the flight tickets might not be transferable so if it isn't then I've just wasted one seat. Oh well. RM254 for 2 person is still considered cheap anyways.

The Count

It's Saturday the 31st.

13 more days til the end of my finals

=)

p.s I'm not an all american reject hardcore fan but i got free tickets for the concert later!!

p.p.s Weeeeeeeeeee

The Race is Now

What race you might be wondering.

Probably its more of a mental race I would say.

I am racing against time.

Racing against the things that denies me passage.

Racing against everything else.

Shall I just sit on my loins as time passes by,

I'm not.

I'm going all out.

I'll do what I can.

the best I can.

And then I shall sit back and watch the success it will leave behind.

Exams, AIESEC, datelines and what nots.

It's all in a days' work for me =)

Me and Music

Since I've stopped taking my guitar lessons after Form 5 I've never actually learned something on my own. Maybe it's because there's nobody to push me. No reason to learn. Because at the end of the day, I play the guitar because I want to. Because it's one of the ways I can really just express myself (albeit most of the time when I'm doing that I'm in my JAZZ mode).

After I went into matriculation and then on to university plus AIESEC and all that I just can't seem to find the time to play my guitar anymore. Not only my guitar so to say, but rather, with music. Last week, I took out the didgeridoo that my dad bought. Put on some beeswax and started learning how to play it =) Then i started to stop and listen. Listen to the sounds that it produces, doesn't matter if it sucks now but I'll practice whenever I have the chance =) I also changed my guitar strings and finally manage to got my lazy ass up to the guitar store to change the strings to my Floyd Rose guitar.

Music is back in my life. Well I hope it stays.

Right now I have to figure out a way to remember all those skills I've lost on the guitar.

Back on track

Life is finally back on track.. After all the crazy rollercoaster rides with Xcapade UM and AIESEC International Congress 09 in the Palace of the Golden Horses and numerous classes and even mid term exams being left out. I am finally back!

Hari Raya is coming and this year believe it or not I feel like buying a pair of Baju Melayu. Unfortunately, i don't think I can manage to get one. With the packed schedule and my brother who's in Melaka. Well maybe we can afford some last minute shopping. My family never fail to do that last minute shopping the night before raya =p Oh and this year my open house will be scaled down teehee. Yup sorry guys, i have to do it. What with last year having about 50 of my friends coming (not including my bro and parents' friends). My dad said this year maximum 25 people only =p

So i guess it's difficult for me this time around. If you invite 1 person, then u have to invite another person.. and when u invite another person, you have to invite 3 more persons.. =S

Imagine what its like being choosy and picky with who to invite. Might as well invite everyone right? =p

Selamat Hari Raya guys.

Maaf Zahir dan Batin

I'm back.. i hope

More than a month since my previous post!

I've been so caught up with a lot of things that I guess time just flies. With Xcapade UM in Port Dickson, AIESEC International Congress 09 in the Palace of the Golden Horses for almost 2 weeks and right after that i had 5 freaking test and quizes within 12 days!

Life's crazy right now. Well its bearable but of course me being me I would always want to complain :p

Right now I'm in the middle of starting my thesis. Which means numerous visits to the Tribology Lab. Hari Raya is coming! Green packets!! Woohooo!! =)

Stay tuned for my next post :)

The Kid Called Me

I was watching the movie Jack starring Robin Williams just now and a funny thing came to mind.

Have you ever tried to picture how you would look like when you're 60?Well I tried but I just can't imagine how I would look like.

This boyish face of mine doesn't seem to fit into a 60 year old man's body. I just can't.Then I tried to imagine myself 'growing' up.
Being an adult.
Acting like one.

But I don't want to.
People say that there is a kid in all of us.
The kid in me isn't hiding.
It's there right in front of me every time I'm staring into the mirror
That's me. The kid.
Albeit a 22 year old one :)

Reflections and Feelings of the Moment

Finally have the urge to write something

Now comes the 'what should I write about part'

I have a meeting with a lecturer from IMU later. As I was calling Dr. Syed just a few minutes ago I can't help but wonder what I've turned into after only a few years in AIESEC.

I still remembered during my 1st year in UM, marketing calls make me shiver. Tremble. But now, I'm so getting used to it that it seems like an everyday job. Wow.. I've gone through a lot throughout this few years :)

It's been exactly a week since I've met Lia. At first it was her CC Trip to Langkawi.

Now she's home quarantined. Tested positive of Influenza A but unsure whether its H1N1 or not though

I hope she gets better. Coz I really really miss her a lot :(

Luckily i guess her DT in India really did prepare the both of us for this.

We know things are going to change. And it DID.

But by now, after India, we're prepared for the changes and accepting it :)

*hugs* see you soon lia!!

Just Feel Wrong

Its been crazy running around doing loads of things and somehow it just doesnt seem right.
My life shouldn't be like this.

Gotta do something about it.
and FAST.

Lectures oh darling lectures :)

After more than 6 months i finally started classes!!
and as usual for the 1st week, i didn't skip any... yet =p

Well I've chosen my thesis title.. Although its not something I would want to do if given the choice but hey it serves me right for not choosing it sooner. It's something to do with lubricating oil in engines and a four ball machine. (I have no idea what that is)

Oh and the usual classes with lecturers which most of them I'm familiar with.
Well can't really say i'm really familiar with some of them considering i skipped most of their classes heheh

The highlight was definitely my sitar class! French class was good too but sitar class just overshadows the rest.

I felt, connected again to music. Something i've always enjoyed doing.
It's been quite a few years since I've felt so connected to music. Particularly a musical instrument :)
I felt at ease while playing. The pain while sitting on a yoga posture to play the instrument was chuck way back into my mind. Mind over matter.

Yup. That's what i keep telling myself =p

As for AIESEC, I'm in the MC office 5 times a week and i feel like a full timer. Work starts pretty slowly for me but towards the end of the week i pushed it up a notch. Not fast enough to my liking though.

I'll do better next week. I'll survive. I'll pull through. Like I always have ;)


Lia's coming back on Thursday :)

Last few days at work

It's my 2nd last day at work.

I have nothing to do.

Well for the past month or so i barely have anything to do

The different thing about today is I'm bored AND I'm feeling restless.

It's like when you're having your exams and you've gone through all your exam papers except for that 1 final paper.

You can't wait to finish the paper and leave it all behind you.

That's what i'm feeling right now!!

I'm already in my holiday mood!!

so restless!!

arghh!!!

p.s - 17 days til lia comes back :)

What's After SPM

Last week I got an e-mail from www.whatsafterspm.blogspot.com and they told me that my story was selected to be published in a little book titled What’s After SPM. So what did I write about? Well below is the original version of what I’ve written to be published. They did a few altering with my version adding some bombastic words here n there but at the end, it still sounds like me which I truly appreciate them doing. I can only write a maximum of 800 words so enjoy!!

The Journey

I chose to study Mechanical Engineering and luckily for me, I was accepted into Universiti Malaya to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Out of the 8 choices I had put in my list of course selection I actually managed to get my first choice! But to tell you the truth I was happier that I got into UM rather than the course I was offered. UM being just 30minutes away from home and 15minutes to Mid Valley and One Utama Shopping mall made me smile even more gratifyingly. I thought to myself, “Wow, I’m gonna be a university student soon” and that’s that.

The day came and I step put into the lecture hall of Malaysia’s Top Public University (or so it claimed). The first thing that struck me was wow, all these people, the whole 91 of them taking this course are going to be my course mates for the next (fingers crossed) FOUR years.
As days gone by, I started to realize how different it was studying back in high school and the NOW that I live in. Back in those days, my friends are from various race and religion and they speak understandable English. But now, out of the 91 UNIVERSITY STUDENTS taking the same course as me, only about a handful speaks decent English. How can these people be here in the first place? To top it all off, there is a vile thing that’s happening in most public university and it is called polarization and no I’m not talking about those colourful polarization effects that we get from science experiments but rather I’m talking about RACIAL POLARIZATION.

In lecture halls you see people sitting in groups easily distinguishable by skin colour, language and the like. We live in a country so multicultural, so varied, many different races and religions living in peace and harmony. But is that all there is to it? Do we just merely live WITH other races or do we include other races into our daily lives. Do we accept them as one of our own or do we merely acknowledge their existence and carry out with our own daily things we do.

I hated the fact that our public institution cultivates minds like these. Great minds in a polarized society. I hate the fact that students are so engrossed in their studies while their social and soft skills are left untouched. I hated the fact that university students from a public institution can’t speak proper English! I searched high and low, trying to make a difference, making a mark, finding for loopholes in this polarized society and one day out of nowhere, I stumbled upon AIESEC.

It seems to me to be the only one society or organization in university which accepts you for who you are not because of what your race is or what not. I discovered a place I want to be in. AIESEC is an international youth organization, claiming to be the world’s largest youth organization, acknowledged by the United Nations for upholding what they envision which is Peace and Fulfillment of Humankind’s Potential. They achieve this by providing youths with these 3 main things.

1) International internship programs
2) Global Learning Environment
3) Leadership Opportunities

Through AIESEC, I felt a place where I belong throughout the 3 years of my university life. The longer I am in AIESEC, the more it opened my eyes to the outside world; a world where people are all the same but somewhat different and unique with one another. Now it’s my 3rd year in AIESEC and I’m currently leading a team of 5 great individuals (2 Chinese, 1 Malay, 1 Indian and 1 Eurasian) and together we are managing an AIESEC Local Chapter in Universiti Malaya with 32 people under us, changing people’s lives through our Exchange Program each day. Next semester, I’ll be in the National Committee. Working closely with 10 other individuals from various universities we will be the top leaders of an organization in Malaysia comprising of more than 500 members. Exposing me to skills even most adults find hard to comprehend. The skill of managing people; unpredictable individuals which we all are. It thought me how to be a leader.

I’ve come to love this organization for the simple fact that it does not discriminate. Whether you’re a Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan, Iban or whatever race, you CAN be an AIESECer. I’ve stayed so long because it has provided youths like you and me with a platform to speak their mind and do great things. I believe I’ve found my purpose in life through AIESEC. Found a place which accepted me, anyone for that matter. So long as learning is the reason you come to AIESEC. Then learning you shall get. I am an AIESECer.

Mohamad Alif

Habit

Have you ever wondered what would happen to people if they don't have habits.It could be the flick of the hair, a pause in a sentence, sniffing out loudly or so many more things.Imagine if all of us are free of habits.

Well i think habits are what makes us unique, distinct to one another.You may or may not have known of the many habits that you have and it could be good or bad, irritating or acceptable but what's more important is the fact that it's difficult to change it once its a habit.

Have you ever been put into a situation when u were doing something unconciously (ie: rubbing your chin) and that out of a sudden you came to realise what you're doing and reacted in a way that you have no idea why the heck you're doing this.

Habit lies in the sub-concious mind.

The more frequent we do something, the more sub-concious it could be. Take driving for instance. There were a few occasions when I was driving along a familiar road when i realize that my sub-concious mind took over. It's like you didn't even realize that you're actually driving until you reach home!

It's weird. If i am free from habits. I won't be cracking my knuckles once in awhile. I won't be flicking my hair. Or the other things i have yet to realize that i always do.

There are good habits and bad ones. Of course i'm not gonna spill out my bad habits heheh but that's not the point. The point is, if people don't have habits, they wouldn't be people.They would be monotonous beings, more precisely, a robot. They would be perfect. Too perfect for my liking.

Why am i writing this blog? Could be a habit.. You just gotta find the pattern i suppose

The Morning Blues

A few weeks back i had the chance of taking the Putra LRT during the morning peak hours. Its been awhile since I've actually taken the train(thanks to me car =p ). I never thought I would live to see this day. The day when fellow Malaysians actually queued up in front of the doors to the trains to get in.. Well its not really a line and there are those few ignorant fools jumping queues but what the heck! There was actually something that resembles an orderly queue as I was waiting for the train. I was smirking my way as I squeezed my way through the train resembling that can of sardine people always compare to when its so freaking packed and compact.

After awhile standing, trying my very best to keep myself erect (literally) and looking around I realised that I was feeling so solemn. I looked at the person next to me. then the lady on the other side. Then i turned all over looking at each of the people's faces around me and it struck me with a blow!! None of them are smiling! Everyone are like walking zombie's lost in their own world. Thinking of the 'what would i do if i wasn't stuck on a sardine train, thought. Everyone's eyes we're staring dead into space.

I decided that i wouldn't be like them. So i smiled. I smiled as if it smiling would keep me alive. As if it's the happiest day in my life. SMILE people SMILE!!

It doesn't really matter if you have a reason to or not. Coz smiling just makes the world a better place. for YOU, ME and THEM

Gone are the days

This post is dedicated to the.. gone are the days things of hostel life... Coz now i'm actually living at home!!

Gone are the days when ....

1. Food is served on time 3 times a day
2. Curfew is meant for the publics' oppinion on university students' safety and not for students (Coz the UM pak guard doesnt bother anyway)
3. Random late night movie dates
4. Late night/early morning parties
5. Random yum char sessions at places too hard to comprehend.
6. Sudden AIESEC meetings
7. Others which i can't think of right now..


Gone are those days... sigh

13 days and 56 more to go

It's been 13 days since she left. About 56 more days until she comes back.

It's been hard sometimes,most of the time, needing someone to talk to. She's always there for me physically the 3 years and 5 months we've been together. Well now she's still there for me i guess. Just not physically.

I yearn for her. Now more than ever before. I miss having her near me. Just having to drive at most an hour to see her.

I'm waiting for your return lil lia. and i yearn for u. now n always.

lil miss lia

Lia left on Friday. She went to the land where gandhi was born. The land so vast and so rapidly booming while at the same time so traditional. The land called INDIA. Why of all places did she choose india? Well firstly its because its within her budget and the other reason is because she wants to experience how its like to be in a country like India. Which the world populace portrays as somewhat a dangerous overly populated country. She chose india so that she can experience those things, and to see whether india truly is what the media has said it was.

I miss her dearly. She left with a good cause.. and i supported her all the way through.. but deep down inside... i feel like grabbing her close to me n not letting her go. hugging her tightly with my head lying ontop hers.. breathing in the sweet smell of the perfume that i gave her.. not wanting to let her move away no matter what the reason is..

It'll be 65 more days until i get to see her again. I'm glad i have numbers to count down to. counting the days. knowing that she's gonna come back. I hate not knowing. Cant imagine her being away from me and without me knowing when she's coming back. at least i know.. at least i know.. and for that.. i'll wait.. willingly.. patiently.. and hopelessly in love..

A job offer i CAN resist

The economic situation right now seems to be affecting everyone. You see a rise in the number of the jobless. Retrenched. Let go. Fired. For the lucky ones who still has a job, they either have to:

1. Work harder
2. Salary cut
3. Transfered to a far away place
   

Amidst all this things happening to people all around me, I was actually offered a job. A job which actually pays well. A job which i can start right after i graduate one year from now. You probably would have thought "Wow what the heck did he do to get offered a job right after he graduate" or "Lucky Bastard! Everyone's looking for jobs but you're offered one a year in advance" but instead, as i was sitting in the office, sitting overlooking my boss as he was telling me about "working something out" for me i was thinking of ways to say no to him. I was trying to recall what the heck did I do wrong to make him so impressed with me. This isn't suppose to be like this!! It's a short term thing! All this while as I was talking to him I fixed my face with that silly grin of mine. While still holding that grin I told him :

"I'll see how lar"

I have plans. And it involves at least going overseas working in different environments, a whole different country. My plans involve AIESEC even after i graduate. At least for an Exchange program. It's true when people say anything can happen and heck i'm a true believer in those words but to me for the time being... that's what i wanna do.

Sorry boss. Maybe after 2 perhaps 3 years from now ;) Either that or u better make me one hell of an offer i can't resist

Exams.. how i miss you

I feel really isolated and alone right now...

I'm sitting on my red plastic chair criss-crossing my leg on my side of the room in this abode i call 'home' for the past 3 years of university life cursing at this god forsaken hand-me-down laptop from my dad. I just watched Valkyrie halfway through and suddenly it all goes slow motion and i can't take it anymore!! My roomate is half studying while the other half of his attention is else where between facebooking and humming a tune. This past week was the only week since January that i actually came back from work and actually manage to be in my room the latest at 7pm. My life revolves around AIESEC and Lia of course :) It's not that I've never noticed it before but I didn't know that life is so boring without both of them. No more meetings til late nights, dinner dates, hanging out at mamak sessions. I'm gonna miss those things. Instead of meetings now we have daily reminders, dinner dates turn into a quick bite or some tapau food, and hanging out at mamak stalls turn into me going back to my room being alone. I'll be staying at home next semester, no more late night mamak-ing for me. Instead, i'll be home with my mom, just the two of us on alternate months (since my dad is only around on alternate months) while my brother will be venturing his new beginning into University or pre-U (depending on what he gets).

I miss exams... i hate working...

but then again people always want what they don't have.
At this moment, i don't have classes and exams.. gosh how i miss skipping em ;)

yasmin ahmad

Need i say more??

click HERE to jump on to her blog

The short clip she posted recently gave tears to my eye :')

One more year to go

Well have you ever thought what would happen to you in a few years time?

I used to spend a lot of time reflecting about the past and contemplating about the future but lately i just don't seem to have enough of those "moments"

I have approximately 1 more year as a student! Then i'll be off into the working world. I'm afraid to be honest. Afraid to face the world. This seemingly nice and peaceful reality we're currently in at the moment. Wait til you get yourself into the working world!! Imagine actually having to earn for a living. Put up with god knows what kind of bosses and working with god knows what kind of colleagues. It seems that life really isn't all that nice and sweet with silver linings in each and every cloud. I yearn to stay longer in this place called university. To just be in classes you can skip. Not sitting on your desk from 8-5 (Or worse standing on site from 8-5)!! I've gone through only 3 months of my internship and while i've learnt a lot from it I'm still just scared of having a working life. A working life without a life.. you work.. and work.. and earn.. and for what??

May I have what i have right now til the last of my days. Now and always.

What is it you might ask?? Well just the feeling of being contented i guess ;)

Relativism

For there are no right and there are no wrong. Just something somewhat better relative to another.

-ALif's theory of relativity, relativism-

Wisdom Tooth

I pulled out my wisdom tooth the other day. Well 'pulled out' seems so subtle compared to what i went through. After months of waiting a dentist from UM finally called me up and made me an appointment.

Then it came. I sat there thinking happy thoughts, afterall, i've pulled out 4 other teeth before i had my braces on. The process the dentist explained to me seem severe and downright scary. But then it was all in the mind. The only pain i felt was when they injected me with some bius. After that it was all mind over matter. I survived after a 30 minute ordeal.

She had to cut open some of my gums, and then use an electric saw and cut my tooth into tiny little pieces. Then only the pulling starts. I had MC for 2 days!! Well it was painfull a lil bit but i got over it quite fast :)

That was only 1 side. I'll be plucking the other little devil on my left side. Then i'll get another round of MCs. Hehehe i feel really bad only working for 2 months but already asking for so many leave days. But hey what to do. It's not my fault. Its just circumstance :p

February 19th 2009.

Wow it's been more than a month since my latest post.

Well albeit the busy working and AIESEC schedule, i finally found time to actually slip into blogging mode. Now all i have to do is figure out something to write about..

Which is... err me??

Working isn't really tiring or hard, neither is it exciting. It's just mundane. Repetitive. Boring.

Well maybe it's because it's only been 1 and a half months since i've started working as a trainee. Maybe it's because of the company i'm in. Maybe it's just how working life is. If working life is really gonna be like this then i better open up my own god damn company and make sure people don't go bored to death in front of their desk doing monotonous work! I did have my share of 'fun' working. Well if you wanna compare it to the things we described as 'fun' in AIESEC then this will be dead last on the fun scale. Going to project sites, maintenance work, just doing nothing. Counting the days left working. the hours left. Heck sometimes i even count in minutes!!

AIESEC well has been pretty hectic last week. 5 nights a week i was out because of AIESEC. Meetings and receptions and the like but nothing i'm complaining about :)

AIESEC UM elections is coming up :) I just finish preparing and compiling the election package. Fingers crossed!! I doubt my leadership pipeline a bit but we'll just see how it goes.

A working life

It's my 10th day working today. I have roughly about 147 working days more to go. I'm afraid that it'll be like this. Being a trainee in a local engineering company. A small company with only 4 people including me working in the office. Sometimes you learn things. But sometimes learning seem so long and draggy. Since I've been working here I haven't actually started doing any work yet. Just maybe some design assignments using AutoCAD and visited to maufacturing plant. My company deals with manufacturing Aircond system for factories and clean room and all that stuff.So everyday I sit in the office 6days a week from every Monday to Saturday. From 8.30 in the morning to 5.30 in the evening except on Saturdays we work half a day. I 'work' and i 'work' and i 'work'. Well at least i pretend to work most of the time hahah.

I take things one thing at a time. This is only working as an intern. I dread going out into the real world. I wonder what it'll be like having a working life. Monotonous?? Well maybe.. Anything you repeatedly do can become monotonous no matter how fun it was doing it the first time. Well at least i get to think a lot of AIESEC while working. Push people... Get Xchange realizations... Achieve results :) We're tied with TUC at the top spot with 16 Realizations right now but TUC will be getting more realized by the end of January but fear not. By February we'll have another 4 realizations at least ;)

Believe it or not i miss classes. or rather i miss skipping classes! Coz i can't skip work!! :p

Member Committee 2009/2010 Elections

3rd January 2009,
Taylor's University College
8am-10pm ++

As I woke up that morning around 6am I took my shower and planned to go through my election speech. I took out the set of clothes i wanted to wear and tried to iron it but the damn iron wasnt working. So i chose the most uncrumpled shirt i can find and by then it was already 7.15am. We're meeting in UM at 7.30am. No time for speeches... I went with Lia and met up with the guys in UM.

The drive to TUC was just a normal drive. Something you would expect when you're attending any other AIESEC events. When we arrived and the moment I see so many people in their suits in TUC i felt the butterflies in my stomach. Swarms of them coming out from cocooning.

I was freaking hungry. I ate a slice of sandwich while walking up the stairs but it felt like chewing sand. Well wishes we're being exchanged. Warm hugs and firm handshakes extended. I was nervous as hell. I went in and waited.. carried out my usual crazy antics and that helped a bit :)

Cafrey went up first. I watched him go. He seem natural up there on stage doing his thing. Using his slides and powerpoint connecting with people. Then it was the VPs turn. I was 5th in the line of 10 people. Right in the middle. As we waited outside and see one by one people go, those butterflies we're turning into hornets waiting to sting. Then it was Serena's turn. I was next.

The door opened and ushering me was AC/DC's Rock N Roll Train. The people, the faces and the song. All other things seem oblivious. I jumped on stage. I did my thing. I came out. I felt those hornets took flight. Replaced by a vast emptiness called hunger.

The rest of the day things went on quite alright for me. The verdict came and I got the Vote of Confidence.

Out of the 10 MCVP candidates, 8 got the VOC.

Our sole MCP candidate, he got through as well ;)

I've taken this few steps. Waiting for the next bigger leap to come.
Thank you AIESEC in Malaysia for believing and having faith in me :)

p.s I didn't cried guys =p